07 May 2006

Someone wrote about men's loos.

There's this new guy at work, who's a Master's in International Relations. He talks funny. All serious and big-wordy. Like last night, at my boss's party, i said to him, ``Dude, dude, can i get you a drink?'' . He said something like, ``Not presently. I'm don't consume alcohol.''

Anyway, after a long day of following Gurgaon's gangs yesterday, I came back to work. I went into the loo, to pee of course, and there he was. He was standing at urinal 3. urinal 2 was empty, and I took urinal 1.

This is an actual conversation.

Me : ``Hey bro, whats up.''
Him: ``Hello.''
Me:``How's it going?''
Him: ``Fine''
Me:``Dude, did you get new spectalcles?''
Him: ``Well, today I went to the markets. To get reactions on the Government decision. It was ok, but a little redundant.''
Me: ``oh''
Him : *smile
Me: ``Dude, no, did you get *slightly louder now* NEW SPECTACLES.''
Him : ``oh. thats what you said.''
Me: ``Yes. Well, did you?''
Him: ``The old one's broke down, so I had to take recourse of these.''

I swear he said that.

ps. sticking to my new promise, i only had one rum, and one straight up shot of run with my boss. When the big bosses arrived, i wasn't looney, and didn't say silly things about the appraisal system


the wannabe indian punkster said...

The old one's broke down, so I had to take recourse of these.

GOD! Is he for real?

Rohini said...

I used to have a bad habit of getting tipsy at office parties. Regrettable incidents include dancing on a table top. In fact, my tutor at my summer job remembers me as Double Vodka. Those were the days...

Drops Of Jupiter said...

Tell the dumass that "Not presently" is an incorrect usage.

"Presently" does not mean "Currently" even though most nuts continue to use it in that sense.

Enemy of the Republic said...

How about doing a series on conversation with uptight pricks while peeing in the urinal? Or really any type of conversation that comes to mind? I swear I'll buy a copy.

lycra said...

Well, I've met the two extremes...

First Extreme:
MAN: I was flabergasted, he was in penury.

Second Extreme:
Pretty Boy after a make out session: Pun?? *Silence* Ok tell me, is it something like a bun?

Now try beating these!!!

Madame Mahima said...

hahahaah what a dumbass..tell him to speak normal!

this reminds me of my friend N who asked this delhi-ite where he studied
and the delhi-ite said 'dudeistudiedinperublahbloohbleesplat'
and N was like ':S wow...peru huh..i dont know many people who've studied there'
and the guy was like 'dudewhatareyoutalkingaboutyaaritsveryfamous'

turns out he said he was studying in 'purdue university' somewhere in there...

Harjee Kapur said...

He seems to be a progeny of the most irritating specimen of the human species born on the face of this planet.
Phew…! Fabricating a comment was a strain… I wonder how he lives?

The Tattoed Librarian said...

I'm trying to figure out what he thought you were saying the first time..."news pectacles"?? Now if he thought you had said "New testicles" that would have been hilarious!

Mint Chutney said...

OK..I can't get past the part that you're at the urinal and actually looking at him close enough to notice he had new spectacles.

Isn't that against the guy code?

4WD said...

Punk : Hello to you
Rohini : How many days ago were the days those?
Jupe : so is the standard of jouros, these days.
enemy : thats an idea... when i'm old and woozy, i might take it up.
Mahi : dont talk to me about delhi types... i live here... i hate them.. sorry, all you delhi types.
Harjee : Hello.. you're not a delhi type are you?
Librarian : ha ha ... that is actually quite funny. I can see you make a good librarian.
Mint: its a small loo... and i'd rather look at his face than, you know, that.

kitsch said...

Does anybody- anybody have a propah appraisal system in here?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

hello to you too.


Harjee Kapur said...

4WD : Delhi type? Am not sure what it takes for the bonafide status to set in, but I did live there for 5 years. And yes, pretended to study too (at times).
Cannot say I enjoyed it. Can most definately say I avoid Delhi.
But what I'm really curious about now is what induced that question?

albino_black_sheep said...

the gall of some people...u never told me !

albino_black_sheep said...

not that you gave me any help buddy!! x(

4WD said...

Harjee ~ I dunno. I'm in delhi, so I automatically assume that most of my readers must be from here. Which isn't true, of the 20 odd people that regularly read, there are folks from azerbaijan even.

Your blog's really funny, tho! i like it.