26 December 2005

The games men play.

No, i'm not talking about mind games. In fact, I mostly lose in those.

But i'm home, and went for a drive with HorseyBoy.

We drove around, talked about women for a moment, then talked about cars for many moments. We bought some channya-munnya. I don't know what they're called in English, or any other language. But they're small, dark red, slightly sour berries. THey're all skin and seed, with a little bit of gloppy goo inside that tastes nice.

So you have to eat 10 before it tastes of anything.

So we were driving down in his Baleno (well, his dad's, but it's a great car) on the hinghway. This highway cuts through the city, so we're just driving home, nowhere special.
We're eating the channya-munnyas, and have the seeds collected in our mouths. I say, ``heh heh ... dude lets see if you can hit that cyclist!''
Horsey: ``No man, that's mean.''Me : ``Ok, hit the motorcyclist.''Horsey : Spit*miss* spit*miss. ``Er, i'll hit the cyclists. They're easier targets. We never hit anyway.''
I'm on the passenger side, so i hit oncoming cars. 1 point for a maruti 800, 5 for a lancer and 10 for a merc. I score 25 when I manage to get one straight into the cabin of an Ashok Leyland.
Horsey gets just one cyclist. Its a small seed, so it doesn't hurt him, but he just turns back to look. Don't know why, but we laugh like hyenas when this happens, and horsey almost drives into the back of a corvette. Ok, not corvette, but old 800. (you know the original japanese engine ones? Lower than the new ones? Yummy to drive? the first jap cars in India?)
Then we get bold, slow down, spit out at people, and zip away, hella lights leading.

The key to spitting well, is that the force must come from the bottom of your gut, not your mouth. {Place seed between pursed lips, breathe deep, expand stomach, wth a sharp contract of the diaphragm, expell air. Don't forget to aim.
Later, we sat down and talked. its funny, i've known this guy for 22 of my 24 years. We talk about everything. But whenever we come to women, the conversation is always the same.
Him : "So gangsta, whast up with that babe?" THe `babe' in question would be one i've been in love with for the past 2 years or so. And he dosn't say `gangsta' in normal conversaition in real life.Me : We broke up man.Him : No way! WHy? Me : Ahh. Him : oh you know who's hot? That babe that used to be in your college. Me : screw her. Are you still getting it on with RomeGirl? Dude you have a girlfriend. Him : hah hah. You made out with her when you had one. Me : You wanna play NFS2? I'll get the PS2.Him: Yeh, or we could go to the go-kart track.

The point is, we never ever really talk about women. We don't need to, I guess. Men usually don't, well, the men i know.

Except one guy that came up to me and said, ``if you ever want to talk, i'm here''. What guy says that?

Anyway, new years is coming up. Yay. Drunken women.

22 December 2005

women, i tell ya.

So i went out with my buds. And we did the ``blocking race'' on the way back. `Blocking race' may sound like a stupid name, but thats just cos i just made it up. Here's how it works. It needs 2 men, in 2 cars. Usually it just sponateously breaks out. Needs to starting grid.

It happens when one car gets in front of the other. The other will try to get in front, but the car in front won't let him. So the car behind tries his best to get in front. Its more challenging if the car in front is faster than the one behind. It eventually ends with a battle of nerves, when the back-car powers through a little space, almost touching the front-car. Whoever chickens out first, loses. The winners gets to stick his finger out and yell ``woooohoooo girly boy''.

This time, i was in DaBussinessman's qualis, and Monk was in the esteem. I was behind. But i won when overtook from the wrong side of an 18-wheeler, missing the wall by an inch, when Monk thought I would chicken out.

20 December 2005

What's with happy endings?

I went to see `Bluffmaster'. Good. Very watchable. And as much as I hate to admit it, the junior bacchan looks decent. And acts decent too.

I thought about her (see my last post) a fair amount through the movie.

Yea, she was cute (especially when she decided it was hot, and took her sweater off). But that wasnt why i thought of her all.

Imagine knowing someone, and not knowing anything about that person, except that his, or her, mother is just about to die...

I mean, i don't even know her last name.

as an aside : If you watch bluffmaster, don't miss roy's the cool car. Looks like a mustang. What I wouldn't do for a car like that. I'd even agree to not shoot priyanka chopra in the knee with an airgun everytime she said anything. (she's hot and all, but a bit pf a piss off)

Mile High

Ever since I remember going somewhere by aeroplane, or train even, it has always been a dream to get a seat next to a hot woman.

The last time that happened was, umm, when i was was 8 I think. My mum, my sis and I were travelling somewhere in a train, and there was some problem with our tickets. Anyway, two really cute women offered to share their coupe with my sis and me. They gave us two chints one berth, and the two off them, all growed up and all, took the other. Looking back, it was a lot hotter than i knew it was then.

Well, today I flew Air Deccan. Shitey airline. The airhostesses look all frumpypoo in their blue and yellow... things (i dont know what those frick dresses are called!)

Anyway, the check-in queue was really long. They said computer problem, i thought it was just ineptitude. Anyway, two queues away, i saw this really pretty girl. She was with someone. She was wearing this tikka on her forehead. She was dressed really well too. Thin, tallish, just my type.

Anyway, so I looked at her. I dont know if she looked back, i wasn't wearing my lenses. But i thought she did.

As luck would have it, both of us checked in at the same time.

Now, there's another queue for security check. This damn airline has so many queues, i just love them.

So, she was right behind me in the queue. I didn't know if she was going the same place as me, so I just looked pretty. Didn't try anything.

As luck would have it again, the chaos at the check-in counters meant free seating. So I engineered it so i got the seat right next to hers.

Anyway, we chatted. She was sweet. Except i dont think she could hear me very well, and everytime i made the right joke to make, she said, ``what's that?'' Never ``excuse me,'' or ``i didn't get that''. Just ``what's that?''

Anyway we chatted some more. She shared her water with me (this is AirDeccan, you have to BUY it). She's a student here, but lives in Delhi. She said she missed the first 20 days of college, and had to go back for ``some issues at home''.

We chatted some more. The dude in the leather jacked next to me was wishing he'd got the good seat (i.e. the middle.. heh) The dude in front of me with the blue monte-carlo sweater was chatting with this new mom (not hot by a long shot) about her travels.

She asked me about reporting. Asked me about covering the bomb-blasts.

Eventually she told me that she had to go back home for her mother. WHen she went home, she just went cos her sis's were down. Her mom had gall stones. But a few days before she arrived, her mom was diagnosed with cancer, in it's final stages. ``Every day that we spend with her is a bonus. The doctors told us she had only a few days to live'' she said. And she had tears in her eyes.

I felt so helpless. I wished i could do something. But i could just listen. I guess she needed to talk.

She had wanted to stay, but her mom wanted her to get back to college.

After telling me, she said, ``That felt a lot better''

We didn't get each others name till we'd both walked out of the airport.

I wonder what'll happen. I have her number, and i will call her, but i dont know if i can hit on her. I don't know if her mom will be alive when i call her. I know she has to go. I wonder how she'll deal with it.

As an aside, I forgot to x-ray my bag, and held up the whole flight.


16 December 2005

It was Beauty killed the Beast...

I saw king kong.

This, of course, is Jessica Lange, from the old one. Not the new babe. The Special Effects are mind blowing in this one. Better than LOTR. But Ms. Lange is hotter. And, believe it or not, she shows more skin than the 2005 version.

But really, i can see why these hotties like Kong so much. I mean, tall (25 feet, at last measure), dark, could pass for hand some, and has a really big ........... nose. Ok not nose.

Funny. King Kong's King Dong.

Really. Go watch the movie. Make Peter Jackson richer, he deserves it.

As an aside, you know what I really dont like? Holding hands with girls during movies. It should be ok in a film that you don't really want to watch, like any romantic film. It should be ok in comedies too, cos then you're laughing and dont care.

But action movies. No. Thats just distracting. I mean, women tend to squeeze your hand at the exact moment when your mind is supposed to `whoa'. Instead, you just go `wh-frickin-ouch'. You have to look away from the amazing fight between Kong and the 3 t-rexs (godzilla:). You can't appreciate the subtlety of kong's pile-driver if you have to keep shaking her hand off.

14 December 2005

So, i'm watching Sidhu on NDTV right now. There's some pretty stupid things going on.

Like :

Lady on phone: ``I am sixty-five, following cricket since ...''
Sidhu. ``You look twenty-five, madam, from your voice.''


``Man has his will, woman has her way,'' (to sonali)
``I see the world, no the selectors , as a fruitcake... it wont be complete without a few nuts. They're going nuts''. (er, the point?)
``This has happened from Times immemorial''. (times is a paper)
``I would rather have a pumpkin, all to myself, and sit on it, than sit on a crowded sofa.''

But thats not all... there's also this girl (off the streets of cal) who says, ``As a bengali, I dont support this decision. I am very upset,'' (all with a broad smile)

Cricket, i tell ya. Why can't more people be into more participatory sports. Like roller-blading.

12 December 2005

I'm a confidante!

So this is a post about a boy.
No i'm not in love with him. I didn't ask him out. Cos i don't do that. I'm into women. Not against being into men, thats ok, just that i'm not into it. Like some guys (mostly punjabi guys) like their women ``healthy''. Not me, thank you, I like them skinny.

Anyway, so this kid, lets call him, `Kid'. He's 18, but a lot heavier than me.

Anyway, Kid has been working on a story for a month now. It'll make a good writer's piece, but no big deal.

Anyway, a few days ago he came and asked me advice on some debate. Er... he doesn't even know me. And to top it all off, he interns here, but he doesn't read the paper.

So anyway, he keeps asking me for advice on the story, and i always say, ``get the story over with, and move on''.

So today he comes up, and says, ``Can you give me advice on my career?''
Me : ``Advice? uh. what sort?''
Kid: ``When did you start working?''
Me: ``Er, just now???''
Kid:``How do i proceed in my career?'' (like i'm frigin bejan daruwala)
Me: ``I dunno dude. You should just graduate first''
Kid: ``Thank you... thank you for the advice... i feel like i can trust you.''

info about me : I had no idea what i wanted to do till I did it. Now i know i want to do journalism, but i'm not sure i want to do exactly what i'm doing... i wanna do something different.

(at a later stage in the conversation) Kid : ``Can i intern here, and submit articles to another paper?''
Me: ``Eh? what's wrong with you? thats wrong. You'll get thrown out. Its totally unethical''
Kid: ``oh. I didn't know. I've never been able to talk about these things to anyone. I considered talking to *metro editor*.'' (jeez)
Me: ``Havn't you ever worked anywhere? like a summer job or something?
Kid: ``No. We don't have that culture in Kanpur.''

still later, after he bitches to me about my roomie, he says,

Kid: I need someone I can trust. I think that someone is you. I love you. (ok, the last bit i put in, but i swear he was thinking it.)

So i said, ``Dude, dont trust me. Don't accept any of my advice. I can't take responsibility for your life!!!''
Kid : ``Yes of course. You're so honest."

Why can't women like me this much?

08 December 2005


So, after a premature rejection, I've figured out why men are scared of women. Well, its not an original theory at all, i've just figured it out.

Men are afraid of rejection. Cos it hurts the ego.

There that is my theory. Ok, its not big, but its ok.
So i figure, if you get rejected enough times, you'll get used to it and not care. Like learning to ride a bike. You fall off. you learn. actually that doesnt really explain it.

Ok, like racing bikes. You race them, and when you fall the first time, you realise, ok, it didn't kill me, so its ok.... so you go do it again... of course if it kills you, you don't go do it again. That would be stupid.

Tucker Max says you shouldn't care ``if the girl is going home with you''. According to him, if you don't care, not pretend to not care, it works better. Don't ask me why... Don't ask me why i read him even.. i dont want to be like him... he's just funny.

ok, so the last bit was pointless.

05 December 2005

No women. Just stupid.

Hello world.

Not a nice day. So many decisions. I mean, why can't life just go they way you plan... why do you have to work so hard to get the bloomin plan to work? Compromise with this one, beg with that one, cajole with a third, steamroll no. 4. Jeez.

Anyway. Today (well, technically, late late last night), i did something stupid :)
Online. Now that's a first.

but you can read all about it here.

It takes a stpid man to be stupid. But it takes a brave man to go and tell everyone he was stupid, and then show them all evidence so they never forget.
But its ok. I'm anonymous, and I don't care what you all think of me, so here.

And the sad part about it all is, i actually had something really good to say to the guy. Good as in, bad for him. But now its lost.

Its like when you get into an argument with someone, and you come home, and then the killer come-back comes to you? I feel like that now.


30 November 2005

why men like games like NFS MW

NFS MW is Need for speed - most wanted. And here's my take on why men like games like this. I'm talking about big boys. You know, with jobs and lives... not little kiddie widdies. Which is probably i will never play `ragnarok'. Someone said (in press talk, which is K's blog, who is the someone in question) that games like ragnarok are the next big thing. Here's why i think that those are for boy-boys, and not man-boys (like me :P). We play games with speed, fire, and of course women. So i play NFS, Doom, Max Payne, (love duke nukem) (even loved death rally) and of course Grand Theft Auto. Which is why you now see Prime time tv ads for NFS MW and DOOM :) (and not ragnarok. My 9 year old bro plays that. And beyblade..)

So, without further ado. Why i like this game :

1) Mia is your girlfriend. Played by Josie Maran. Ooh.
2) You don't have to say a word throughout the game. Razor calls you a girly-boy, cross runs his keys across the door of your BMW, and you just sit quiet. And mia still wants to hook up with you. Screw intelligent (or any) conversation.
3) Mia drives really well. She races with you. She's not like most girls, so she won't say ``slow down'' or think that if she yells loud enough, the brake will automatically activate.
4) Mia , always, wears very little.
5) Other than mia, you can own all sorts of cars, from Mazdas to Gallardos, and yes even the Ford GT40. The little ford that could take on a ferrari.
6) You can drive like a nutcase, and win. Screw race lines.
7) You can do fishtail manouvres on cops. And it works. Like in world's wildest police videos.
8) You can take your Mustang (or Audi Quattro) STRAIGHT into a wall, at 150 MILES per hour, and only windscreen smashes. And by the next race, its ok.
9) Your Nitrous Oxide recharges as you drive.
10) You have nitrous oxide.
11) You always win.
12) You have Mia. (well, i have her for now, i havn't finished the game).

29 November 2005

here's a post

You know, its fun to not recognise someone, especially a girl. you know, she comes up to you and says, hello, and you say, hi, and she says, ``er... don't you remember me? i'm so-and-so".

and you say ``no''.

good fun, in a strange, perverse way.

I went on an assignment that i could actually write oodles about. But then my secret identity wouldn't be secret anymore. And its serious stuff, so its not in character with this blog.

Why dylan. Why not, i say?

27 November 2005

PR Women.

There is a massive difference between the PR people that government departments employ, and that private firms employ. Of course, thats a no brainer. But in government agencies, you almost can't tell the difference between the men and women PR people. Except in one hospital, where the PR lady looks and acts like cruella DeVille. Except her hair is all black. (if she had the CM's hair, she'd look exactly like cruella)

Anyway, the PR girls at private firms are good fun. If you're bored of the funny man at the press con, you can chat them up. Except they won't chat when the funny man is talking. And they like you more if you have a tv crew :)

Thats one reason I envy the girls that work at features (well, its mostly girls, i know very few men who do. Except one who used to, and is now a top crime reporter). I mean, what's the point of it? They get to meet all the cute PR girls. And all the PR men are funny looking loons. well, most i've met (but to be fair, i've met very few).

Anyway, i met this nice looking pr lady. (there is a reason i call her a lady, and not a girl). I flirted with her a bit, threw a bit of spiel about how us city reporting guys are more comfortable in the street, doing the dirty work. Anyway, i smsed her a few times to get some info, then i asked her to coffee/drinks.

She said, ``sure, my husband and I will join you''. Sheesh. I didn't know. I swear.

Anyway, I said sorry, she said, ``no really, join us sometime.'' Why would I? Thats would be so odd, a couple going out with a single guy. Ah well.

I'll go back to playing NFS.


25 November 2005

Good-bye, Mr. Miyagi

Pat Morita, of Mr. Miyagisan fame, passed away.

So many of us joined karate classes because of him :)

Oyasumi nasai, mr. Miyagi.

24 November 2005

So, they killed him.

This stoy scared me.

This man was doing his job. Honestly. So many of our friends are IIM grads, or grads from other b-schools.

It could happen to any of us. As reporters, why not. I don't know what i'd do if someone threatened to kill me for a story. Would i still do it?


In the furren news


this is about Khushboo, virginity, and Sania. Wonder what they think of us?


20 November 2005

My furry friend.

no you dirty people. Its not what you think.

A cat lives in my house. Grey. Striped. Big.

I chased him/her out, but he/she didn't care. Just sort of walked out.

I pay the rent, damn it, not the cat.

And today someone said they might have to give away their labrador pup. I wish i could take it. I dont want the cat. I want the dog.

18 November 2005

What i'm not.

Ok, Just need to clear things up.

When i started this blog, i was afraid i wouldn't ever get any comments. Its been a few days, and i have a few. They're beginning to pick up. Thank you all for stopping by, please come again.

except this person : http://docsdope.blogspot.com/

Here is what I am : I'm a normal guy. I have very very active life other than the stuff i post here. I just write about my hunt for a `no-strings-attached' girl.

Here is what I am not: I am not this guy. I am not out for a cheap f*ck. Really. I do not want to con women into sleeping with me, and then say ok ta ta.

This chappie's really dysfunctional. You have to see some of the stuff he writes about. Like this :

This brings an interesting aspect of our religion, God is ubiquitous, so that means God is in me me too and you too, which says that all of us are Gods. God fighting God, God making love to Goddess..hahahaa this is funny especially with all the vivid images that our good ol' Doordarshan has conjured up in our minds :)


I love the way woman smell. When they get up in the morning after a good night sleep, when they get dressed for work wearing just deodorant, when they dress up for work wearing French perfume, when they are all sweaty after sports. Most of all, I love to smell their panties.

Now, this is where he gets criminal.

Well, I have been recording my acts of passion with various females ....these are not to make any quick bucks but I'd like to watch them after she is gone...I have hidden cameras all over my place...till now, I have around 50 different recordings with around 11 girls...Liz was 12th of them...she came out of the loo too quicly, and I was caught red handed.. she asked me if there were any previous recordings....and when I told her, that I did have one recording of her with me..she was upset..she asked me to destroy it...I told her its my passion and I can't...and that I will not leak them anywhere and they will be safely locked in my closet...

Dude, whoever you are. Don't come back here. I can't stop you from coming, but please, dont post a reply to any of my posts. I'll just deeeeeelete :)

16 November 2005

Bengalis :P this is actually funny.

First off, why do i have to manually change the post date everytime i post. Isn't there a way to automate this?

Ok, now this is funny. If you're in the media, you know the number of journalists that are bengali. They run the damn media. Anyway something funny came in on PTI yesterday. I hope its not a crime to take it off PTI and post it here.

Here it is. (I havn't done any editing. Its just here as PTI sent it)

Army Army to chalk out blueprint to induct more bengalis?
¦Kolkata, nov 16 (PTI) why aren'T enough bengali youthscoming forward tojoin the armed forces??
¦This was a question that held the attention of WestBengal Chiefministerbuddhadev bhattacharjee and goc-in-C, Bengal area, maj gen Arun roye,longenough to envisage a blueprint for induction of more youngsters from thestate in the Army.?
¦During a tete-a-tete, the duo pondered over what wascoming in the wayofbengalis looking at the Army as an employer.?
¦"We talked about this at length. The Chief minister saidwe must chalkout aplan to create awareness among the bengali youths and encourage them tojointhe Army," maj gen roye told reporters at the state secretariat.?
¦He said the Army was ready to create awareness at theblock level togenerate interest among the masses.?
¦"We find that most bengali youngsters who come for thescreening testshavepoor health and eyesight. We also talked about how to address thisproblemso that those looking at joining the Army can come physically preparedtotake on its rigours," the maj gen said. PTI sbp pr kc 11162154 del??


when I was younger i wanted to drive a tank. I realy wanted to be in the army, sometimes I still want to. But luckily figured out soon enough that i'm not willing to kill people for reasons that i may not always believe in. Ah well. So i'm here posting.

15 November 2005

Upcoming dates.

So, here are a few choices.

1) there is slightly-droopy-shoulders-but-cute-rest-of-her girl. We'll just call her sdsbcroh girl. I get the feeling she's alcoholic. And she's a compulsive smoker. And kissing smokers sucks, cos they smell like ashtrays. I've gone out with her a couple of times, flirted a bit, but thats about it. And, we have an SMSy relationship. We dont call. Which is good. So, i'm thinking i'll just send her an sms saying, ``hey, when can i take you out on a proper date. Like, to dinner or a movie, and then drinks and then we can get drunk and do something stupid?'' how's that/

2) there is this other girl, who is nice. Smart. great to talk to. But she is not skinny. She's gonna be here for a couple of days soon. She's sorta broad. not fat, just, not thin. what to do?


what i look for in a woman.

Someone mentioned me on their blog. Yay. Here. It was a very neutral post. Nothing special, but at least i got mentioned. No raves, no rants. Just a mention. You know, like in those top 100 countdown shows on mtv. ``and at 64 is -- . No change, lets move on ot 63. '' i'm 64 on this post.

anyway, so here's what i'm doing. These are the things i like in women. Ideally. Like the perfect date.

1)ok, she has to be, well, fit. I mean, she can't really be unfit. See, this is all politically correct posting. I'm not saying fat. I'm sorry, but i am shallow. My roomie says i should let go of my skinny-obsession, and try going out with a non-skinny girl. ``Very comfortable,'' he says. But then, he is Punjabi.

2) Intelligent is good. I dont care even if she's a PhD, i can probably still probably make good conversation with her. But not if she thinks carrying on a conversation about some vague books, which i probably have not read, makes her smart. Really, its amazing how many people equate having read a lot of books with being smart, intelligent, perceptive and all that jazz. Yeh, i read a fair amount too, but its not everything, you know.

3) She should wear a thong :)

4) Women sitting across the table from me, talking about their ex's. Complete turn of. I mean, if they said, ``ooh he had a really small beanstalk'' i would be happy. But do not go on an on about how you loved him so, and how you were so stupid and kept going back for seconds, or how you were with him for so long, or how happy you were, or what a nice guy he was, or how he was so spontaneous, or anything!!! Just say, ``oh i havn't met him in a while.''

5) When I'm driving, i hate it when women say, ``slow down''. What i hate even more more is when women say, `` you should change the gear now.'' Why? I know when to change the gear, and she probably doesn't know what the difference between RpM and Revs are!

6) A little bit slutty, just a little, is good :)

7) offer to pay. Let me pay the first time, but offer to pay. And the second time, pay.

ok, thats all i can think of for now. If i think of more, that will be another post. More post-karma.


14 November 2005

this is some funny shites

so.. i was looking at some blogs, you know, so I might actually get some people to read me. I chanced upon some really hilarious gooby. I'll just link you to the post. When you read it, it may be possible that you read it with a ``i'm into reading about peoples funny dreams cos its so deep mode'', but really, read it in funny mode. its really funny... hee hee


sorry mr. pareshaan. Its funny.

now the sad part, for me, is that this dude has more readers than me.

13 November 2005

Ha ha... this is crazy.

Can you even believe this??? I'll bet they never made friggin movie like this!!!

One thousand Maoists stormed a jail in Jehanabad Jail in bihar, and 398 prisoners were freed. 9 people i think died, including a ranvir sena chief.

On tv i saw that some of the escaped guys came back. Why? ha ha... thats actually funny. A bunch of rebels came and busted them out for free, these guys run out, while jail authorities get shot. After a while, they get an attack of consience? I can't understand why they'd come back.


on another note. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone ever reads what i write. I just checked some stats, and 57.5& of my less than 70 total visitors stayed for less than 5 seconds.


What do women really want?

Well, anyway, i went out last night. With a girl. yeh, i know, thats sorta obvious, but not really, cos i dont have enough posts for ye all to know for sure.

well, anyway, she wanted to talk about books and all. I think i've read a wee bit more than her, but she wanted to be all intellectually and all.

Schmuckity Shmoo.

Why can't women just chat like guys? you know, we talk about cars. Or bikes. or women.

Is it just women that want to talk about books and all, or are there men like that too? i dont know any of those kind of guys. All my buddies back home talk about motorised. and women. but we dont really discuss like, all the emotional stuff.

e.g. here's what a conversation between me and my child-hood buddy (we rode our bicycles over graveyards as kiddies) would sound like, if we were talking about women. We'll call him Klaus.

4- Hey rockstar. What's up?
Klaus - nothing bugger. Just spoke to my baby back in *foriegn country*. waiting for my visa to come thru.
4- oh. How's that going?
kl- pretty cool. She's earning a lot. And has cute roomies.
4- yeh? Don't flirt with them. you'll get in shit.
kl - hey whats up with Squeamy? (squeamy is a made up name. but we both made out with her, at different times, not together.)
4- nothing man. i dont wanna talk to her. can i tell her you told me told me about you guys, so i have a reason to talk.
kl - no bi*ch. Then she won't make out with me.
4 - why the fug would you wanna make out with her?
kl - My baby will never find out.
4 - but... squeamy is... hairy. (now, that's not a nickname. She really is. When i made out with her, we were drunk. This frick's not.)
kl- heh heh. so how's your car? How's the air filter?
4 - great for bhp man.
kl - yeh man. women dig speed man.

so that is a deep, meaningful conversation for us. If i had to have that conversation with a girl best friend type, i'd have to talk how how i were feeling about my break up and all that. Thoug i like doing that. especially with *song*, who might come live me me for a bit. And i will never ever wanna make out with her, not cos she's not cute, cos she is, but cos she;s just such a great buddy. Sometime's she's almost a guy :)

anyway. so that. rambling. is anyone reading this shit??


11 November 2005

Dissappointment 1

So, i'm sad.

I started out thinking, ``ok, today, i'm going to be a babe magnet. Every babe I talk to is going to get that vibe from me.''

I think, at least, i got that part right.

So, i started the day late, like 3. When you're a print journo, you can do that sometimes. So i went, drove my sexy beast to the Central Secretariat Metro Station. I felt cool. I felt like `the man'. (you know, the one with the plan?) So i screeched into the parking lot, and the attendant saluted me. heh heh. The man is in town. The lot is mud, so i did little burnouts, which would eventually had led to donuts, had there been enough space, and no cops around.

Then i thought, ``hmm, Metro Station. Always has cute women. Today i'm confident. I think i'm gonna chat me up one. first step to hooking up.''

So i bought my token (no, not ticket, token). The CISF guy frisked me, really hard, and i thought he lingered a little longer than he should have where he shouldn't have. They checked my bag. then i went in. I sat in the train.

LOTS of women. NONE of them were cute. One was really funny, with fat in the wrong places, and seemed to smile oddly, at some guy who didn't look like he was looking at her.

Anyway, so i went did my work, got back to the metro at Kashmere Gate to get back to my car. Got frisked. Got my bag checked. Got in the train. Again. Not one cutie.

Then, life changed. Well, not really, but when i got out of the train i saw her.
As soon as a stepped out, i turned right. I glanced left, and there was a stairway leading up, and walking towards it, i could see this really hot body. Her hair was really long, like she could be in a Garnier Ad.

Anyway, when she turned to get onto the stairway, she could see me, and i saw her face. Man, she was model material, the stuff that dreams are made of. So i froze, turned, and began walking towards her.

When i did that, she stopped too. And she watched me walk towards her. She did it in a sort of funny way. Like, she didn't just turn her neck to look at me, she turned from the waist. Like she had a crick in the neck, or my sis's barbie dolls. Anyway, she followed me, with her eyes. (wow, that actually sounds good)
When i got on the stairs, i was just behind her, so she turned to look at me, (yes from the waist, in that funny way).

Then she said, ``Me?'', with this really hot, inquisitive look. I had not said anything to her, not motioned, not even blinked, where did she think i said anything?

But it took me completely by surprise. I didn;t know what to do. I froze. ``er, no,'' i said. Sheeesh. even that was inaudible.

She said, ``ok,'' and walked on. I followed her for a bit, even to the wrong entrance. But she was gone, my courage was all phut.


Like my sensei said once, ``you've lost your chance. Now you can't get it back. Come back next session, try again.''

I got in my car. `Wonderwall' began playing as soon as i slid the face of the system into place.

ah well.

On another note, i'm happy today also. I got my first Rejoinder!!!! owwoooooooooooooo

The government sent it in, for a story i did, denying that the guy ever spoke to me. My chief reporter said, ``Fuck them''. So i will. Tomorrow, i get to write, in FIRST PERSON, why they are dickheads. Cool or what? hope it goes ok.

On yet another note, i'm sad. Cos no-frickin-body reads my blog. My counter today said 5 unique people read it. 5. one of them is me.


10 November 2005

Where would you get a woman like this???? She farts, burps after her beer, and wears a really hot yellow bikini. ``Sweet dreams are made to these.. who am i to disagree''


and this is how you take a car around a bend.


09 November 2005

why the blog... now?

So here it is. My first post which is not the first test post.

This is about me, and why i'm blogging.
Firstly, i'v always wanted to blog. But i never knew what i should blog about. I had nothing to say. Nothing. Well, nothing i ever wanted to share with you chumps.

What do i do for a living. I write. I wish i wrote for kids, or even porn. but no, i write for a newspaper. So i must trawl the city, looking for something wrong. Then i hype it up a bit, and boom. Its a job. its fun. I know some important people :)

By the way, for my post grad, my dissertation was on blogs. I just did it cos i had 3 days left, hadn't started, had no access to any libraries, so i did some ``qualitative analysis'' on blogs. heh heh . You know whats funny? the word ``analysis'' has the word ``anal'' in it. heh heh.

Anyway, so, what am I. I'm a normal guy. I'm not, like, super-stud material. I'm just normal. I'm fit, but i'm not like muscular and ripped. If i try, i'm sure i can be. It can't be that hard.

So, since i'm normal, i've had girlfriends. Well, i started a little bit late, but i've had. My first was in 11th standard. Well, she was never really my gf, but she was hot, and she cuddled with me a lot, and let me feel her up, and occasionaly, i could kiss. But she had an OLDER guy too! i mean, he was like 10 years older than her. That was like 7 years ago. Damn woman. She said, ``I need someone older, more mature, financially secure.'' To her credit, she's still with him, and going to get married soon, and i'm writing about my search to get nailed.

anyway, next came the `best friend'. yeh we kissed once, but she wanted to be the best freind. Well, sorry. I let that happen for a while, but thats over too.

then there was my first real girl. ok, so she was hot, and almost 9 feet tall. Well, she was 5'11''. And i'm just about 5'8. That went on for like 2 years. Ended, cos she was hooking up with some guy she said ``is my faraway cousin''. Yeh. So we broke up, and i didn't tell her about the one drunken nite with the best friend. So i come out on higher moral ground.

Then there was the last one, which ended, like a month ago. She was a doll. She wasn't perfect, but i loved her. I think i always will, a little. But that had to end. we wont talk about why. ever. (no not penis size, f**c off)

anyway. So i've always been a nice guy, with the women. Not with everyone. Ask the guys i race with. well used to race, now i have to work in this crap city, with no hills to race.

But other than that, i'm not the kind that walks upto a woman at a bar and asks for her number... well... too scared :)

So i've never had a one night stand.

But now i have a new goal. I wanna hook up.

No love here. I'm not lookin for any sort of relationship. Just hook up.

And i figure now that i have a goal, i have something to write about.

so, here it is. lets see now, how this unfolds.


dull blogs?

wow. this is amazing. You should see how many comments this guy gets, which is a lot for being the dullest blog in the world.


I got a comment. From this guy. Danke. thank you thank you.

test post

This is a test post. To boldly go where no ... er... no.. WARP SPEED captain! Beam me up scotty. *slap on butt* ``Run along now, Man Talk'' (for the uninitiated, thats James Bond in gold finger, smacking that babe on the butt and saying that.. wow.. thats why all men love james bond)

So, If, for any reason, anyone, is reading this post, which i dunno why you would, cos its, well, unadvertised, you know, i'll be posting. And its about, WOMEN :) so read. pliss. Every writer likes to be read, i dunno why, i mean, its like some perverse exhbitionist thing. You know, like those women, in those porn stories, who wear the little skirts, and no panties? and they like men looking? well, i think writers are like that. Us men too. We want our writer-panties to be seen.

So i'm just discovering this thing.

I can do italics. And BOLD, with keyboard shortcuts. Like in word. neato.

I might like this shit. So, everyone's bloody blogging. I've always wanted to, but i never knew what i should blog about. You know, i had nothing to say. Now i think i do. I always wanted to be serious, you know, like about real things. Like government. Well, for now, i'll let that be, and let my blog be about women. Well, about me and women. So who am i? bwah. this is a test post, you dont get all that here.

Thats in the next post. if you read. pliss? pretty pliss? anyway, lets see how this shit works.