03 January 2009

Mojo risin'

So, New Year's Eve was crap, 
but I think I have my mojo back. 

Where had my mojo gone, you ask? Well, see, the one thing that can ruin mojo to hell is love. It happened to me, I tell you. It's not all it's cracked up to be, this love thing. I mean, its not bad, It can actually be very good. And if it doesn't last, at least it gives you a glimse of what could be, you know. Love's great, like that. It takes you places you've never been. But it makes you lose your mojo. 

It starts simple. You meet a girl (or boy, if you're into that). You hang out.  You fall in love. Maybe you kiss. Sometimes it's the other way round. You hang out. You kiss, and ideally have sweaty sex. Then you fall in love. Thats simple. Around here, you still have your mojo. In fact it's risen. Because you don't give a hoot about other girls, they like you more. So, all of a sudden, a lot of very pretty girls are interested in talking to you, because you don't care. But you take it too far, you too much in love to care about them, because you're in love with the girl you love. Eventually, the attention you got on account of not giving the women attention starts to wane. You don't care, you've got love.

Then one day, the girl you love gets married and says, "I'll see you next year, babe."

And then for a while, you're like wondering about life and love and you think you should write a book about it. You don't of course, cos you can't get past page 1. But you do eventually meet another girl. And now you want to be in love so much, nothing else matters, not even that she doesn't really love you back. 

So it goes on for a while, and then, one day, you realise that she doesn't love you back, so you break it off. (ok ok, she realises, and she breaks it off). And then you think , "what the fuck?" becuse you've never really been broken up with before. For a while, you feel bad for the girls you broke up with for no reason, and then you think if hadn't yu may have been married to one of them now, and you think, "thank god i did."

Anyway, then, you get to this phase when you really want sex, love  be damned. So everytime you meet a woman, all you're thinking about is how to get her back to your house and take her clothes off. Of course, women can sense that sort of shit and because they're so predictable, they don't want you because you want them. 

So you don't get any. You killed your own mojo. Heck, Love did. 

So I was pleasantly surprised when I found my Mojo had returned. First on new years day, I had nothing to do, and wanted to get away from Pune, because I didn't want to be around girl-who-doesn't-really-love-me (look above). So i went to this 'farm house' party outside town. First, there was no farm, it was a big, manicured lawn, and I hate those. The girl who invited me was not my type at all (ok, she would have been if she were skinnier) but she was all, holding my hand and everything. If i wanted to, I could have made a move. But you know how I am, I can't kiss a girl untill i'm really attracted to her. And the other girls at the party... well... there weren't too many, and none of them were, er, my type. So i wished them all "happy new year (hug hug hug)" and left. 

Then, another girl, also not my type, invited me to another party in Pune, so I went there. It was fun. There were some pretty people. One very pretty lass with her husband, unfortunately, both tripping on something. I had a few drinks, but fortunately, not enough to go thru with what the not-my-type-girl would propose soon.

I swear this is true. I walked out of the loo (i used it soon after a bunch of dudes finished snorting their lines of coke... idiots... paying for terrorists' educations), and she was waiting outside. And she says, "I have to ask you something." So i say, "What?" So she says, "this" and leans in to kiss me. 

Now, this girl, i) is not my type ii) is bigger than me and iii) is certainly stronger than me. So I was scared. But i was brave enough to say, "no no no". "Come on, its just a kiss," she said. "No," I said, "its never just a kiss." 

And its true. It never is. Kissing takes a lot. Its got to come from within. Or else its not... real, you know. Its no good. I admit, i was a little, er, excited,  but only because of the attention. So she says, "its just a kiss," again. I told he I couldn't do it, because my heart was still elsewhere. (how would it have sounded if I said, "you're not my type, dude") It was partly true, because my heart was (is?) partly elsewhere (see girl-who-doesn't-really-love-me) above. 

So, I didn't kiss her, and left. Yea I know, its very womanly to leave when someone tries to kiss you. 

Anyway, regardless of them being non-cute, it counted for something that they were into me. It's always a big ego boost. 

So the next day, Im faffing around on facebook, and this cute girl, who I met in hyderabad, but who moved to pune recently, pings me. She has a boyfriend and all, but she's still chat-flirting, and we exchange numbers and all. I did not expect to hear from her at all. But I did.

Then, a little later, this other girl. Also very very cute. I met her at a party in hyderabad, and flirted with her there, and texted her a few days later, but she never answered. So i sorta gave up, thinking I have no Mojo.  She pings me, and says, "hey, oddly, I only saw your message now, there's something wrong with me phone."

Ha ha, you expect me to believe that? That you saw my message 2 weeks to late. The truth is, you just suddenly felt my mojo. 

Then, on an impulse, I texted this other girl. I'd been trying to get her to go out with me, but she just wouldn't. So i was a little bummed about that, thinking I have no mojo. So i texted her saying, "Coffee later today?" and she answers (dig this) saying, "Hey, sorry, I'm getting married in Feb and engaged tomorrow, so 2nite may be hard." Ha ha. I'm happy. It wasn't me. 

So yea, I got my mojo  back, ladies. NOw i'm dying to head to a city where they actually have pretty women, and see if it's really back. I'll post. 

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ps. what do people do with so much money? I mean, wasn't the first 1000 crores enough, Mr. Raju? BUt yea, at least you had the guts to let the buck stop somewhere, and write that letter instead of taking a flight to the Cayman Islands. 

1 comment:

Anna said...

The mojo is always there. Always. You can't believe you'll ever lose it. Therein lies your folly... you thought you lost it - so you did.

Oh! And go to Sweden, its an entire country filled with hot chicks and not just pretty girls. :)