30 March 2006

Deltoids, Biceps and forceps.

My cover is pretty much shot. My dear, sweet, gentle, very pretty, extremely fit, very generous, very nice, tallish (but not taller than me), very musical ex-girlfriend found my blog. And i'm sure she's going to be a regular visitor now.

I've joined a gym, here near my new house. I've decided to start a new life. Its not going to have a lot of change from my old life, except now i'm going to go the gym regularly. I'm not a first time gymmer, by the way. I worked out a fair amout earlier, and was all bulky and hefty once. But i'm skinny now.

The gym i've joined is called, very imaginatively, ``Fitness Centre''. It cost 720 bucks a month. And i've paid another 500 bucks to get a ``coach''.

The coach is a man named ``Nepali Singh'', and looks very much like one of these men:

Yep, he walks around like that too, with his arms held away from his torso. I think all body-builders do that, because their wings (laterals, i think) get in the way.

The man's bicep is as big as my head (though I must confess my head is not very big). His waist is about a little bigger than mine, but his thigh is like my torso. Its like two of my torsos stuck to my waist.

Except when he introduced himself to me, he said, ``Hello, i'm Nepali Singh,'' in a voice that was quite, whats the word ... sqeaky. If i called his house, and he answered, I'd think it was Mrs. Nepali Singh, or Nepali Singh Junior (both of whom, i'm sure, are a lot bigger than me).

A lot of the body builders i've met have squeaky voices. Except Arnold, except I never met him. Here's what i think, I think if you work out too much, there's a high chance that your thigh muscles will become too big, and squish your testicles. And hence, the squeaky voice. (if you don't get the connection, er, umm, go to another blog)

Which is why, i'm never going to be like that. I could be like that if i wanted to. So what if Arnold started training when he was 3? Seriously, though, I figure that in 3 months, I'll be back to my original form. I just have to watch what i eat, not drink too much beer, and go to bed early. which is kind of pointless, if you think about it.

Of course, all of this working out and then working for money has gotten me really tired, so i think I'll go to bed soon.

In other news :

* I stole. From my boss. Twice. Once i opened his drawer and took a Twix. Once i asked for his pen in the morning meeting, and didn't return it. Some things ae so much better on the sly. Now i just hae to have a fling with a married woman.

* My dad has brought me a dozen of the most amazing mangoes from home. All you north-indian and south-indian types don't know the joy of an Alphonso Mango from Ratnagiri.

* My ex is a really nice chick, and she lends me money. And I was evil, and once sold her a DVD player that i got free. And she has amazing dress sense.

* oh and if you ever run the spell-check in blogger ... it doesn't recognise the word `blog'.


Rat said...

Yeah how stupid is it that blogger doesnt recognise the word "blog" !!! Like hello its as common as e-mail these days.

And since your ex now reads your blog is this your way of confessing that you ripped her off on the DVD player deal ?

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Why exactly have you joined the gym? To get back your hunk looks? If so, is that connected in any way to reappearance of the lady?

Rohini said...

Here's a female perspective. You don't want to look like a body builder. It's just not attractive. No one would want to cuddle up to these horrendously over-pumped men and cuddling is very important no matter what you have been told to the contrary.

eM said...

i also want to know who you are! :)

hickey said...

Why does everyone want to know who you are? hmnnn i wonder! what gives? howdy???

Anonymeena said...

Bro, we all love our women and our ex-women, but you cant change coz she's writing.
Youre screwed. Just stop writing here, start up something new.

4WD said...

Rat ~ No she knows about the DVD player already. I'm just saying it...

AQC/Rohini ~ I'm not working out for the women. Just to be fit. And anyway, I know women don't go for that bodybuilder look, but no woman minds a flat stomach, non?

eM ~ Its not worth it. I'm better behind the internet gateway. And if i run into you at TC, i won't tell you who i am, but i might post about you, and then you'll read it, and know who i am, but i still won't know who you are, unless you tell me :)

head ~ Howdy :)

Anonymeena ~ I'm not gonna change or stop writing or anything. She knows how i am... in fact she left me cos i was a compulsive womaniser. (actually, not really, i just said taht cos it sounds cool)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Men who are extremely pumped(for want of a better word).....scare me.

I sometimes wonder(morbidly)....what would happen, if say...they bust an artery?

I mean... all this 'pumpin' is dangerous innit'?

4WD said...

It is. And unnatural. They all have muscular atrophy. And get heart problems later cos their muscles squeeze their veins :)


Drops Of Jupiter said...

Yikes.. obsessive gymmers..

There is nothing on earth quite like an Alphonso..sigh..