13 June 2006


So, here I am. Sitting at home. When I should be working. I called my boss and said, ``I'm going straight to PHQ (Police HQ), so I won't make it to the meeting... is that ok?''. But here I am. Not at PHQ.

I have no idea where I'm going. Maybe I should go to another city and work. My choices are between one city that's full of reporters, but also has a lot of pretty women, some of whom I already know, and one city that doesn't have so many reporters, but no women either. Work ... women ... work... women... so difficult is the choice.

Whenever my daddy thought he should have a conversation with me, he said, ``Son, what are you going to do with life?'' Now my daddy and me didn't have a lot to talk about, so everytime we were in a room with each other, he decided it was the right question to ask.

So here I am, dad. Here's what I want to do :)

In case you think I'm going to list out my career and professional goals here, sorry no. ( But if you must know, i'm going to be a Media Mogul.)

These are the women that I would like to date before I die. Of course, i could die tomorrow. Like Gautam Buddha said, nothing is permanent. So, my list doesn't actually have any names in it. Instead, i've made this list profession-wise. Since i'm a professional-and-all-that myself. Of course, there may be women outside these professional brackets. And this list may change as I grow older... Like Gautama Buddha said, `Nothing is permanent'.

And, if you read my last post, I'd outlined a strategy for women. That's what i'm going to use. Everytime I meet a pretty girl, i'm going to say, ``Sorry, i dont want you.''
1) The model. Ok, this is a pretty obvious profession. Every man worth his Homer Simpson boxers wants to date a Model. But since i'm being realistic, i'm not looking for a super-model or anything. Just a normal, even struggling struggling model will do. She could be in a Close-up ad. Liril, oh yes Liril. Ramp, good too... except then she might be taller than me... which is ok with me, since I've had a 6foot tall gf, who was some 4 inches taller than me. Ok 3.5''. But i dont want a really bad model... I'm really shallow. So sue me.

2) The corporate. You know, the kind that wears black suits and high heels to work. With no time for a family. She shouldn't even have time for me. Maybe an investment banker.

3) The CNBC anchor. No no, not like Jay Leno. Like the ones on CNBC-TV18. Has anyone noticed that they are by far the cutest of any TV channel? NDTV has some cute anchors too... but i'm sticking by CNBC anchors for my list. This EXCLUDES cnn-ibn anchors... I'm not interested there at all... except for that one REALLY hot one... but i dont think she's interested in me at all:)

4) NGO activist. You know, the kind that has glasses, and wears Khadi stuff thats NOT from Fabindia? She should talk about things like why the Lower Subansiri dam is bad for the people of Upper Assam. Or how archaic india's laws regarding undertrials are. Or that article 377 of the IPC should be scrapped. Things like that.

5) A writer. Not a recreational, write-short-stories-for-the-Telegraph type of writer. One with a proper book already out... and even better if it's sold a few copies already. Only, I don't want to date someone who doesn't write fiction... at least not till i'm 40, anyway.

6) A Ph.D Student. Yeh, you know. With glasses and all. Possibly someone studying solid-state physics, or the lineage of the Shaka Clan in africa.

7) A lesbian. Ok, i know this is not exactly a profession, but think of all the possibilities. And i also know that options 4 & 5 might also be option 7, but ... er.. think of all the possiblities!

8) A pilot. No no, not one for Jet Airways, or Spicejet. One that flies for the Indian Air Force. In fact, i even met a cute one in Bidar Air Base... but all she said to me was, ``Sir yes sir.'' ``I'm going to be an Air Warrior, Sir.'' And pilots in the IAF can't fly fighters yet, though all the senior pilots i've met said they should be allowed to. But for now, i'll be happy meeting a Mi-17 or An-32 pilot.

9) Hiker. You know, with green shorts, fit, dreams about making love under K2 when she goes to bed. There's something about an outdoor girl that city girls just can't match.

10) Computer Geek. This includes graphic artists, web-designers, software gurus, all of them.

So, that is the list for now. I'm sure there's more, but I just can't think of any. If any of my dear readers fall into any of these brackets, you can apply. Just send in a resume, accompanied by a video or two colour photographs to fasterjamesfaster@yahoo.co.in. And please, no men.
Also in this issue.
* Who's the smoodle who said something about yellow? Look at this : http://www.rsportscars.com/eng/cars/civic_type-r.asp . Can't you love that? It's a Civic. You know, you get those here. Not the concept, but the Civic.
* Fanaa is the most shit-assed movie ever. The pity is that it could be great, but its not.
* I want to se MI3.


lycra said...

Firstly, If you see a pretty girl and you say "I don't want you", you really will end up with a sad sex life. But like i said, if you do ask her number, you're desperate. Choose?

kitsch said...

Which city is that? The ones that have pretty reporters?

Madame Mahima said...

okay. hello?
i don't see 'tall-cutish-startrekgeek-mildly alcohoic-girl' from singapore.
what gives?

4WD said...

Lycra ~ I know... it's a fine line.

Kitsch ~ no no... i said lots of reporters (which means more competition for me) and pretty women also. Bombay.

Mahi ~ Yeh... shhh... that's my secret category. I don't want competition.

Ekta said...

Woah!now thats some list..really thot out list!
Now son, if only u have put the samr thot in ur career....blah, blah!;-)

gutterspace said...

No place for advertising copywriters in the list? :(
Btw this whole playing hard to get with girls really works. It does. I got hooked by the same strategy.

albino_black_sheep said...

no place for alternative careers like mine, hmm..me didnt appreciate..

btw shifted my blog to:

hopefully easier to remember :D

M (tread softly upon) said...

you seem to have such cliched ideas about every kind of woman. This is what I call stereotyping. you could still have the model, student. anchor etc etc. without all the generalizations that you have mentioned. So are you interested in the profession or the stereotype?

jax said...

Send any extra super models my way. I love them arm candies :D

kitsch said...

Kitsch: Oh Mumbai!! Yeah and i was one of the smoodle who said something about yellow, was talking of fonts dahling, not civics!
But even if i had one, a yellow civic, it wont match my purple halter that well.:)

kitsch said...

i meant i was one of the smoodles..sawrry! My grammer is not that bad. :)

freespirit said...

Not sure if I should be flattered since I can see (2) fits me rather well! I wear severe black suits, high heels and work 14 hours a day and hop planes every 2nd week to go to a different country. Sigh...That explains why i am still single. But should I be thankful that I am not an Investment Banker?

Dude...u r bad for my self worth!

Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Hope you give us progress reports. Somebody asked about stereotypes, of course it's the stereotypes we lust for. At least as long as they shower regularly and have 3-digit IQs.

Kitsch, your grammAr is fine, but your spelling ...

4WD said...

Ekta ~ My career goals are simple : Media Mogul by the time i'm 45.

Gutter~ copywriters... hmm... didn't think of that... hmmm

Albino ~ You deserted blogspot?

m ~ for the sake of this post... its the stereotypes. Completely. Why would anyone want to date, say a Hand model? I mean you might, but you'd rather date a face, or a body, model.

Jax ~ dude... there's no such things as extra super models!

Kitch ~ If you had that yellow civic, you should throw away your purple halter. You could drive around naked in that thing, and nobody would notice you :)

Freesprit ~ oh cool. Are you applying? :P

AQC ~ bang on bro. It takes a 3 digit iq to have a fling, you know?

Sexy Indian Bitch said...

You gave me a wonderful idea for a post - a list of guys I would like to date before I die. Thanks.

Harjee Kapur said...

the title made me think its a post about how you going to get a jeep or hummer...
and yeah...forget about the TV anchor.
the news room gets really sad in the bedroom... trust me.

Shivangi said...

Interesting post, that!
Did you say anything about women who are into video games? Strange! Why not? :)

Casablanca said...

Oh, the comment space here is almost as fun as the post. We like!

Vijayeta said...

Very interesting indeed! Awesome insight into the male mind. And also a reality check for moi. I dont fit in any of those categories...is that the reason i dont get any dates?
Does that also mean there's no hope left in the world for the likes of me?

the wannabe indian punkster said...

what about hikers with dark brown shorts?
why are you partial to green?

This point reeks of discrimination, me thinks.